big bang – quantum physics – m-theory – string theory – supergravity – Zeno Effect
**looks at watch** time doesn’t exist

Basically Good Theory

This particular universe follows a strict and repetitive pattern, mathematical laws in which X will always = X, These laws of nature don’t evolve or change (as in magnetism, physics, gravity, etc).  This isn’t saying that everything is understood about them – but it’s less about understanding the laws and more about understanding that these laws exist and are NOT theoretical.

Every time you drop an apple, it will fall to the ground. end of fact.

It is impossible for anything in this universe to exist from nothing or to exist for no purpose.

To humans the world is just a bundle of sensations and emotions – but in reality it’s actually a living breathing BEING of its own that exists among many different space dimensions that share one dimension of time.

We are REAL, it’s TIME that doesn’t exist
and yet it’s the one law that everyone follows with complete faith.

So if in “theory” there are 10 dimensions (which I believe there are) overlapping each other with perfectly aligned electro-magnetic fields of energy – we exist because we already existed.  I know that sounds crazy – because I’m the one that just wrote it!  Man thinks he is so intelligent because of these laws of science — even though these same laws repeatedly prove how stupid man is.  I’m still working on this deep philosophical question and I’ll be updating the article, adding links as I verify information — and quite possibly changing my view as I continue to learn more about the subject!  I would love to know what other people think as I work through this — so leave a comment and let me know!

 ¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 ²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 ³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 ⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 ⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 ⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 ⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

 ⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, King James Version)

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…the dumb ass speaking with man’s voice forbad the madness of the prophet.
2 PETER 2:16
(in context at bottom)

Oh how I have missed writing!  I’ve missed a lot of things lately actually – it’s amazing how life just takes over and totally consumes your entire existence until you become NOTHING. 

I am not NOTHING.
I am SOMETHING!

My momma said so… and she is the one who has encouraged me to start writing again after a very dismal and depressing few years writing about what other people think is important.  These topics usually include; themselves, their business, their lives…. I have even written about door knobs – yes, DOOR KNOBS.

I refuse to be a pathetic person that gives in to the morally demeaning role of writing about other people’s trivial shit.  Sorry, but that’s just the way I see it.  There is so much more to life than making money, so much more to living than just existing – which is all I’ve really done for the past few years and I am officially DONE!

How is it that I profess to be a Christian and so blatantly cuss on my blog you ask?  Well, first off I don’t believe that God is offended by my use of an old english term that basically boils down to dung, it’s us crazy Americans that turned it into some vile profanity – we seem to be really good at that.  I tease my mom that I’m going to write a book some day called My Mom is Gay and Smokes Fags – how’s that for politically correct? But it’s true…. or at least it was 30 years ago or so. 

Secondly, I simply don’t give a shit anymore.  No matter how much sugar you pour on lemons, thow a bit of shit in there – it’s never going to be lemonade, even if you say it is – I’m not swallowing that crap.  You can spend your entire life devoted to service, helping others, loving the unlovable and fighting for what’s right – but the bottom line is that WE are not in control, WE never were and WE never will be.  No matter how good you believe yourself to be – they WILL judge you and condemn you…. and eventually crucify you.  Personally, I’ve decided that’s just fine – I don’t give a shit.

Does this mean I’m not a Christian anymore?  Absolutely not – I am a better Christian now because I get it.  It’s not about what you do – it’s about what you don’t do, and why you don’t do it. I don’t blow up buildings, I don’t abuse children, I don’t hurt animals, I don’t lie, cheat or steal, I don’t shed innocent blood, I’m not an adulterer, there is not an evil bone in my body — I don’t even kill freaking spiders.   I don’t – because I have true faith in God and greatly underappreciated gifts called morals, integrity and character.  I give more than I take, I love more than I hate – above all I believe in love, real love – not the candy coated crap they sell on Valentines day.  I never said I was perfect – I said I was basically good and that’s enough for God, it’s everyone else’s opinion that I don’t give a shit about anymore.  When I stand before Jesus on the day of atonement – I know in my heart that I have nothing to be ashamed of, that’s a very awesome place to be people!!

So are you with me or against me?  Guess what…. I Don’t Give A Shit!
Join my club – it’s a wonderful place to be in these last days…

Live, Love, Forgive
ENDURE TILL THE END!

2 PETER 2

 ¹But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.

 ²And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of.

 ³And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

 ⁴For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;

 ⁵And spared not the old world, but saved Noah the eighth person, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood upon the world of the ungodly;

 ⁶And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;

 ⁷And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked:

 ⁸(For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;)

 ⁹The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:

 ¹⁰But chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, and despise government. Presumptuous are they, selfwilled, they are not afraid to speak evil of dignities.

 ¹¹Whereas angels, which are greater in power and might, bring not railing accusation against them before the Lord.

 ¹²But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption;

 ¹³And shall receive the reward of unrighteousness, as they that count it pleasure to riot in the day time. Spots they are and blemishes, sporting themselves with their own deceivings while they feast with you;

 ¹⁴Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children:

 ¹⁵Which have forsaken the right way, and are gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Bosor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness;

 ¹⁶But was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man’s voice forbad the madness of the prophet.

 ¹⁷These are wells without water, clouds that are carried with a tempest; to whom the mist of darkness is reserved for ever.

 ¹⁸For when they speak great swelling words of vanity, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through much wantonness, those that were clean escaped from them who live in error.

 ¹⁹While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage.

 ²⁰For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.

 ²¹For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.

 ²²But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire. (2 Peter 2, King James Version)

I am trying to be a better Christian
I am trying to be a better person
I am trying to be a better mother
I am trying to be a better wife
I am trying

Sometimes its just too hard
I want to quit
I want to run away
I want to escape
but I don’t, I stay
I will always stay

Because I wouldn’t want to be better
if I didn’t love God
if I didn’t love people
if I didn’t love my children
if I didn’t love my husband
and I do.

So because I love
I stay and I try
I will always try.

I have seen all the things that are done under the sun;
all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed these exact words; What DO you want from me Lord?

I truly love the Lord with all of my strength and all of my heart and all of my soul…but now what? For me, there is this constant, strengthening magnetic pull from within to serve, the only problem is that I have no idea what it is I am suppose to do. Most people that have witnessed me, and my behavior, this past year are probably convinced that I have some rare form of adult spiritual attention deficit. I hop from one mission to another in a heartbeat, continually waiting for that special one that is going to fill this great need of servitude in my heart. There have been times that I, myself, have thought there was something seriously wrong with my brain.

All I can say is that it hasn’t been for lack of trying on my part. Although none of my missions have filled the need in my soul, they have each nourished it in some way. The greatest thing I have achieved is a true love for people. In the past, I have always shied away from interacting with others. Maybe out of fear, maybe distrust, but more than likely just plain old lack of self-esteem. Other people seemed to have it all together and here I was still trying to figure out how to just be a decent wife and mother.

I have to admit that I started losing faith in my purpose. I gave everything I was doing 100% and yet nothing was bearing fruit as far as I could see. So I quit. Maybe the Lord didn’t have a purpose for me, so I might as well just do the dishes and be done with all my hopes and dreams of being a true servant. It wasn’t until I quit that I started to hear the Lord’s answer and it was nothing near what I imagined. In the quiet of my heart, He asked what I wanted. Of course this started another argument in my mind, surely He missed a prayer or something because I wanted to serve HIM. But no, He doesn’t miss prayers; He knows my heart even when I don’t, so why was He asking ME what I wanted? This definitely sent me into a tailspin for a while. Sometimes we get to thinking so much, that we forget how important it is to listen.

When I finally shut my mind up long enough to listen, the message was clear, God wants me to be happy. Whoever said that there is beauty in simplicity, knew how to listen when the Lord speaks. God doesn’t need you to change the world. That’s not saying that the world doesn’t need help, but seriously…He’s got it under control. Sometimes we get so full of our own knowledge and influence that we forget where it comes from. You alone cannot cure world hunger, you alone cannot shelter the homeless, and you alone cannot remove hypocrisy, hate and evil. What you alone CAN do is trust that all of the little things you do every day make a difference to God and HE ALONE can change the world. It’s an amazing concept I know, but definitely one worth experiencing.

Psalm 13:5
But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.