Basically Good











{September 1, 2007}   Three Ways to Find Yourself

Kids are pretty smart. A lot of people look at this new generation and shiver, but more and more I find myself admiring their way of learning and enjoying life. My sister for example is 22, and a lot of people shake their heads in wonder at her thinking process. She doesn’t want to go to college – period. I’ve had the opportunity to watch her grow, learn and educate herself over these past 4 years, and if you ask me, her logic makes perfect sense.

I think the problem with formal education is that it strives to produce what society needs. Society needs doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, nurses, soldiers, computer geeks, veterinarians, so formal education tries to steer people towards the advancement of our society. That’s a no-brainer and for the most part, it works. But what if you don’t exactly fit into what society ‘needs’, what then?

I think it’s very refreshing to see this particular brand of youth ‘finding themselves’ so early in life. My sister realized rather quickly that she didn’t ‘fit in” formal education. She tried, bless her heart, she tried, but there was nothing there she really wanted to do. She didn’t want to learn life, she wanted to experience it. So she moved out of her parent’s home, got her own apartment and got a job. We all shook our heads in grief and said “welcome to the real world baby girl”. But you know what? When you throw a fish out there in any kind of water, they only have two options, swim or die. Lesson number one in finding yourself.

Way to go girlfriend! I’m not saying it was easy for her. She struggled from one job to another, barely making ends meet. She learned about apartment leases, pet deposits and what happens when you don’t pay your electric bill on time. She got tired of fast food and learned to cook. She realized that late nights equal very long tomorrows, and above all – she learned that the dollar bill actually does have value. I know people well over the age of 40, still trying to learn these things.

The next thing she learned in life was that her parents were right; you really do need an education. I think this is where a lot of kids today get lost. They take a ride on this never-ending merry-go-round between who they are and who society says they need to be. College is the only place where you receive an education. This is such a false statement. Some fish simply won’t thrive in this environment and when they sputter for air and die – should you blame the fish or the water?

So my sister steered herself towards her heart’s desire, animals. She wasted very little time striving or pursuing occupations that didn’t meet the requirements of her heart. Even though that sometimes meant living without insurance, and the other benefits that define self-sufficiency, she shut her ears to the standards of society and did it her way. Standing up for who you are in this world can be a very hard thing to do, nobody will ever fully understand the way you do things and that’s okay. Lesson number two in finding yourself.

She is not finished with her education by any means. Lesson number three in finding yourself is giving up on the idea of perfection. This is not a perfect world and there is no such thing as a perfect person, so quit trying to be one. No matter how much you know, there is always more to learn. If you can open your mind and allow yourself to bloom where you’re planted you will eventually thrive, because the longer you follow your heart’s desire the faster you will learn. Desire is there for a reason, use it and be the best that you can be.

I know my sister’s not there yet, and sometimes I’m not even sure there is a ‘there’ to get. She may never go to college or she may find her way back some day, most of us do, but she will go wiser and more able to understand where she fits in. If you reflect on what she’s learned, as I have, you finally start getting it – no matter how old you are. I think this young and unique generation has plenty to teach us old-fogies, if we could just learn to listen.



{August 16, 2007}   I Get Tired

Sometimes I get so fed up with family. There is so much importance placed on family dynamics and to a point I understand that. I would absolutely die for any one of my children, I would die for my husband, but those relationships were created from and out of love. The parents we are born to, and the family we are born a part of, aren’t personal choices we make and sometimes that is hard to deal with.

I would like to state for the record that my parents are complete morons. My mother is a recovering alcoholic who was pushed into that role by a selfish and abusive sociopath. Together – they created me. I doubt either one of them would argue with my analysis. So what’s a girl to do?

I woke up one day and realized that I refuse to follow in their footsteps. So many times we define ourselves by whom our parents are and that’s just a load of crap. Yes they may influence where and how we begin, but in the end, it is us and us alone that make the decisions that will ultimately shape our lives. My parents taught me, above all else, that humans are prone to error. That includes me, but when I screw up I recognize it. I don’t make excuses for who I am and now, after all these years, I have learned to love my parents, in spite of their flaws. That’s the amazing pattern of life.

I know that someday my children will grow up and realize that I am flawed. I look forward to that day and I hope at the same time they will be able to see where they can grow stronger because of my inadequacies. Life doesn’t get any better than the journey itself, regardless of the roads you take. That’s all I want them to understand about me.



{July 11, 2007}   Protected: Bobby’s Box

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{July 6, 2007}   Family

Believe it or not – I have gotten in trouble for my use of the word family.  My precious 6-year-old daughter is still trying to figure all of this out – how Nannie is Daddy’s mommy and Emaw is mommy’s mommy.  I understand her confusion, even before you start getting into what a cousin is.

 So what is family?

To me family is anyone that you love – and I just happen to love a lot of people.

There has always been kind of a weird ‘family’ pattern in my husband and my lives.  He was adopted by his step-father after his own father was killed, and although my own father is still alive, it’s my step-dad that gave me away as a young bride and that my three children now adoringly call Paw-Paw. 

They are both family regardless of the lack of blood ties.

I only have one ‘real’ sister, whatever that means, and 2 half-sisters, whatever that means – and sisters in spirit?  I can’t even count them – and you know what?  I love them all as if we were made of the same flesh and blood.

I believe that family even extends to our beloved animals.  My husband loves his chickens, to him they are family.  I love my cats and my faithful heeler, Panda – my beloved fur-children, every one of them.  They bring me joy and a special serenity that I rarely find outside of their presence. 

All of the people and things that I love, make up a huge part of who I am.  I love the Lord my God with all of my heart and I am secure in the knowledge that He loves me too. 

What an incredible family I have and please do not tell me who is and who is not family.  It’s not about the blood, it’s about the spirit – the fresh flow of water that rolls along the stream we call life.  It carves it’s own path along the banks of our souls, forever changing us – that to me, is family.



{July 6, 2007}   Husbands

I was shutting down the computer, really I was!
And he walked out and threw a fit because I was still *at* the computer. 

I’m still getting use to my laptop and for some reason
you have to wait till the screen goes BLACK to shut the thing up. 
So there I am, just waiting, fixing to go to bed where he wants me
- and then he’s got to go and make me mad. 

So now I’m in front of the computer that was off
- that now is on….

…..Here’s where the question comes in :)

 good or bad?

In my defense, this is NOT a habit,
it just takes me a little longer to shut down than it takes him. 
I always make sure his needs are met,
so what’s the big deal?

So in my anger, I’m not going in …
… until he’s good and asleep.

 So I gotta know -

bad or good? 

my conscience is waiting lol……

:)



et cetera