Ecclesiastes 1:14

I have seen all the things that are done under the sun;
all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed these exact words; What DO you want from me Lord?

I truly love the Lord with all of my strength and all of my heart and all of my soul…but now what? For me, there is this constant, strengthening magnetic pull from within to serve, the only problem is that I have no idea what it is I am suppose to do. Most people that have witnessed me, and my behavior, this past year are probably convinced that I have some rare form of adult spiritual attention deficit. I hop from one mission to another in a heartbeat, continually waiting for that special one that is going to fill this great need of servitude in my heart. There have been times that I, myself, have thought there was something seriously wrong with my brain.

All I can say is that it hasn’t been for lack of trying on my part. Although none of my missions have filled the need in my soul, they have each nourished it in some way. The greatest thing I have achieved is a true love for people. In the past, I have always shied away from interacting with others. Maybe out of fear, maybe distrust, but more than likely just plain old lack of self-esteem. Other people seemed to have it all together and here I was still trying to figure out how to just be a decent wife and mother.

I have to admit that I started losing faith in my purpose. I gave everything I was doing 100% and yet nothing was bearing fruit as far as I could see. So I quit. Maybe the Lord didn’t have a purpose for me, so I might as well just do the dishes and be done with all my hopes and dreams of being a true servant. It wasn’t until I quit that I started to hear the Lord’s answer and it was nothing near what I imagined. In the quiet of my heart, He asked what I wanted. Of course this started another argument in my mind, surely He missed a prayer or something because I wanted to serve HIM. But no, He doesn’t miss prayers; He knows my heart even when I don’t, so why was He asking ME what I wanted? This definitely sent me into a tailspin for a while. Sometimes we get to thinking so much, that we forget how important it is to listen.

When I finally shut my mind up long enough to listen, the message was clear, God wants me to be happy. Whoever said that there is beauty in simplicity, knew how to listen when the Lord speaks. God doesn’t need you to change the world. That’s not saying that the world doesn’t need help, but seriously…He’s got it under control. Sometimes we get so full of our own knowledge and influence that we forget where it comes from. You alone cannot cure world hunger, you alone cannot shelter the homeless, and you alone cannot remove hypocrisy, hate and evil. What you alone CAN do is trust that all of the little things you do every day make a difference to God and HE ALONE can change the world. It’s an amazing concept I know, but definitely one worth experiencing.

Psalm 13:5
But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.

Deuteronomy 4:29

But if from there you seek the LORD your God,
you will find him if you look for him
with all your heart and with all your soul.

You are the single most distracting obstacle between your own failure and success. Each day you make a series of immediate decisions that ultimately shape the course of your life. Failure and success are not immediate procurements; they are slow fades evolving from the good and bad decisions you make each and every moment of your life.

Don’t ever believe that God does not have a will and purpose for your life. Even if you feel lost in the gray area between black and white – remember that your position in life today, has been your choice and yours alone.

Nothing can stand between you and God’s will, except you.

Right now, simply by reading this – you are reaching to find that will. You are seeking.

Matthew 6:31-34

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Acts 2:20-21

The sun will be turned darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of the world lately. Not the normal doomsday variety, I’m not pre-trib, post-trib or anything complicated. I heard someone once say, we’ll all get it straight on the way up and that philosophy works fine with me. I’ve been thinking more about ‘Am I ready?’. Kind of like the packing check list before a big trip. I know I’m saved so I can cross that one off the list but I’m starting to think that there is more preparation necessary.

I guess it really struck me the other day when my son called me to see the pretty sunset. I was busy, doing something important I’m sure. By the time I made it outside, it was gone. I sat there for a while playing the what-if game. What if the sun didn’t rise tomorrow? What if that was the last sunset I ever had the opportunity to see? Okay, maybe that does seem a bit doomsday but the truth is, that for many people that day it was the last. Of all the promises God has made us, tomorrow isn’t one of them.

My husband works with 345 kilovolts of electricity every day. My children are in public schools. I have four close family relatives with heart disease. I have a sister with MS, a sister with depression and a 20-year old sister that drives in Austin. Am I ready spiritually for the sun to set on these relationships? Did I do all I could to show them my love? Christ’s love? The eternal love of God?

It’s a knuckle-brained world out there and the truth is, I’m not ready. There is so much more to do, so much more to say than just good-bye. Thankfully, for me the sun did rise the next day. God gave me another opportunity and I will be eternally grateful for that. Maybe I didn’t get as much laundry done, or finish the rest of that all-important to-do list but it just didn’t seem so important anymore. I lost one sunset; I don’t intend to lose another.

Galatians 6:10

Therefore, as we have opportunity let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Matthew 5:14-16

You are the light of the world.
A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its stand,
and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men,
that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

I constantly tell my 9 year old to FOCUS. He’s a smart boy, but sometimes his head is so far into his dreams that he can’t see reality. I have a tendency to try and recognize traits in my children that I possess and ‘head in the clouds’ is definitely one of them. Sometimes I focus so intently on the ultimate goal that I lose sight of all the little things that are necessary to accomplish it. On the flip side of this fault, some people focus so much on the little things that they can’t even begin to comprehend the ultimate goal. Neither of these traits is really wrong, they are simply unbalanced and ineffective.

I would almost guarantee that no matter who you are, you have more iron’s in the fire than you can count. I can’t really say there’s anything wrong with that, but if you go to bed each night frustrated with what you were unable to accomplish, focus might be just what you need.

Just an example of what focus can accomplish, let’s examine the concept of light. Light by itself illuminates, which is a wonderful thing BUT light focused can cut steel. In each person there are lights within that we label as gifts. Most people have many different gifts, little lights that illuminate the air around them in various ways. When all the lights are on at the same time, the true power is diminished and eventually, some if not all of these lights burn out.

Jesus was the most focused person that ever walked the earth. He had divine wisdom of all the things that needed to be accomplished and yet he rushed nothing. How in the world did he not wake up every morning and say how am I going to do all that needs to be done today? He did it by focusing on the only thing that could accomplish what He alone could not, His Father, Our Father, God Almighty. 2000 years later the impact that Jesus made still resounds across the nations. He was rejected, ridiculed, beaten and crucified and yet with His dying breath, his focus was still on God. That focused Light of the World will continue to cut steel long after we are gone.

I pray that each of you evaluate all that you are doing and come to the core of what it is you want to accomplish. Analyze your gifts, refine them and dedicate them to the Glory of God. The Lord has a specific purpose for your life and you are perfect for the position He has created for you. Unless you truly focus on His Will, the world may lose the light you were intended to give.

May God bless you as you discover the Light within.

John 1:3-5

Through Him all things were made;
without him nothing was made that has been made.
In Him was life, and that life was the light of men.
The light shines in the darkness,
but the darkness has not overcome it.